Sunday, September 25, 2011

The Benefits of Insanity

     it's true
     i'm always frightened and nervous
     afraid of everything from germs to heights to people
     too high above the ground and i feel gut-wrenching terror
     surrounded by strangers and i can't breathe
But no one can face fears like I can
I can climb trees and stand on a stage
I can do anything, no matter how frightening
     because i'm always frightened

     it's true
     i'm always sad and lonely
     i hate so much about myself
     perhaps for no reason at all
Yet I have learned to see through the fog
Not merely the fog of depression; the fog of existing
     without living
I can see the world in all of its forgotten splendor
Feel the coarse bark of a tree
(Which doesn't feel how you think it does, by the way)
I can run and yell and pick flowers
In my glorious insanity life is beautiful and free
     i wasn't lying about the loneliness though
     i am surrounded by beings too sane to join me in living

     it's true
     i'm in denial about the harshness of the world
     i refuse to accept that everyone lies
And I love more truly and freely than any other

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