Fleeting

It's hard to talk when you can't breath

I don't know if I have anything to say

There is too much noise and I can't think

Silence is so loud

I'm so alone

Happy Valentines Day

Fuck

Society is so fucking confused

I'm so confused

Today's Tom Sawyer

I want to go be happy

Shouldn't I be able to choose to be happy?

Does that mean I'm choosing to be sad?

Maybe being sad is easier than taking a step forward

This feeling in my chest

I can't breath

How do I have fun when I can't breath?

How do I meet people when I can't speak?

I am an island

Not much for anyone to see anyway

I'm the byproduct of a society that needs failures to have successes

I thought I had willpower

I thought I was smart

Here I am

I don't even have a reason

No excuse

My failure is an inherent part of me

Didn't even need a push from the outside

They tried to hold me up

I slipped through their fingers

I belong on the ground

I am a puddle of nothing

What will make me something again?

Finding a girl?

I can dedicate myself to her happiness

It will give me something to do

Will she make me happy?

Maybe

Why am I not happy?

Because I am sad

Why am I sad?

I do not like myself at all

Why not?

Because I am having this conversation

Does that mean I should stop?

It isn't the only reason

Of course

I'm boring

I'm pitiful

I feel their pity

It burns

I can't do anything worthwhile

Not even entertain

Am I good enough?

To be a sacrifice?

It would be pointless

What reward is there for sacrificing nothing?

Does this make any sense?

It does to me

Why do they say they love me?

Is it out of pity?

I know they pity me

Is it true?

I don't see how it can be

Why would they?

Why would they act like they do if they love me?

What choice do I give them?

They don't want to spend all their time with you

You are always sad

But they still do spend time with you

They try to cheer you up

They tolerate you and try to make you happy

Is that love?

I'd die for them

They wouldn't do the same

Does that mean they don't love me?

No

Does that mean they don't love me enough?

Maybe

Am I a poet?

No

Poets say things that matter

Poets say things that are beautiful

You are ugly and pointless

I shouldn't say things like that

Things like that make me sad

Am I crazy?

If not

Then I am sane

Which is much more terrifying

What do I like?

Cleverness

Novelty

Dedication

Where do I find those?

In the corner of your eye

In the distance

Fleeting